That Butler, So Fowl
by Frozen Bacon
Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18th century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

****

Artemis opened and closed his eyes slowly, allowing them to focus. The last thing he remembered was the flashes of images in the timeline as he was pulled back to the present. As his head cleared, he began to piece together what had happened. _Mother is sick, cure is endangered, Opal is insane…_"JAYJAY?" He shouted aloud, he jolted upwards, bad move. He flinched in pain; his body hurt everywhere, as if he had fallen from a great height. He looked up and saw a tree; _I must've fallen from there._ He looked down; a feeling of relief flooded him as he saw Holly sleeping peacefully, her chest rising up and down slowly, as she hugged the wriggling monkey. _Something must've gone wrong when we were being pulled back to the present. _Holly shifted her body to hug the floor and the Jayjay shot out of her arms into the forest surrounding them. "Holly." Artemis whispered and felt a tinge of annoyance as he was ignored. He said in a louder voice, "Holly." The LEP captain jumped up and landed on her feet in a fighting pose, ready for anything. When she realised that there were no foes in sight, she relaxed a bit and watched as Artemis stood up and dusted of his suit. "Artemis? Where are we?"

Artemis stretched, flinching again. "Are you hurt? Wait, let me heal you. Sit back down." Artemis followed orders and Holly kneeled beside him letting the magic flow out of her palms. Artemis took this moment to tell Holly about what he supposed had happened, "Well, I believe we missed out mark when we were being pulled back to the present. I am unsure of where we are or what time we are in." He pin wheeled his shoulder as Holly finished off healing him. "So how do you suppose we get back?"

Artemis tilted his head and stood up, happy to not be in anymore pain, "It depends. We should get out of the forest first; when we figure out exactly when and where we are then we will take appropriate actions from there."

"Okay, but what about Jayjay?" Holly asked, wondering where the whole cause of their plight had gone.

Artemis half-smiled, "Jayjay." The monkey shot out of the forest and into his arms. "No problem." He looked at Holly and suddenly frowned.

"What, do I have something on my face?" She asked, confused.

"You're LEP suit, it attracts too much attention. Do you have enough magic to shimmer?"

"I can do it for about thirty minutes before I'm all out."

"Okay, then please be sure to do so when we get out of here."

"Okay."

The two remained standing in the forest silently, if anyone were to see the odd trio it would be quite the sighting. A olive skinned woman with spiky brown hair and pointed ears standing hardly above 4 feet wearing a silvery suit along with a boy no older than 14 with raven black hair, blue and brown eyes wearing an black tailored suit holding a monkey in his arms.

"Artemis, do you have any idea which way is out?" Holly asked, wondering why they had not begun to walk.

"I had thought you would be able to make a map of the surrounding areas with the suit." Artemis replies lamely.

Holly quickly checks the suit, "There's no power Artemis."

"Oh."

Holly sighs, "Your giant brain is absolutely useless at times like this." She begins to walk to the giant tree Artemis supposed he'd fallen out of. "Where are you going Holly?"

"I'm going to climb this tree –" Before she could say anything else, the sound of horse hooves clapping against the earth filled their ears. It only took moment for Artemis to learn the true nature of where he was. The well worn clearing in the forest now obviously a pathway that led through the forest and by the sounds of it, two people were racing on horses in there direction. Jayjay was spooked by the horses' hooves and quickly dove towards the forest behind Holly, Artemis followed suit. He ran across and hid behind the tree Holly was perched upon. "Holly?" he whispered harshly, he didn't know why he was whispering, but it felt right.

Holly's slim figure jumped down from the tree as silently as a cat. "We're not too far away from society, there is a manor only while away. There are two horses heading this way."

As she said that, two horses came to a spot beside their tree. _Great, they picked the absolute worst place to stop for us! _

Holly and Artemis remained silent and listened to the conversation going on past their tree. "Ciel, I see you've certainly gotten better on a horse." A middle aged English woman said, she sounded only slightly impressed.

"Possibly, or you might just be getting old Aunt Frances." A cocky adolescent English boy replies.

The woman snorted, "You are getting annoyingly cocky nowadays."

"No, I am not being cocky; I am simply expressing rightly gained confidence. Your days of victory over me have grown to be no existent Aunt Frances. I have beaten you at every challenge you called." The boy replied. Holly's sharp ears detected another pair of feet walked towards the arguing aunt and nephew.

"I am sorry to interrupt Young Master." The words caught both Artemis' and Holly's attention, they shared a glance. _Young master?_

"But Lady Elizabeth is awaiting both of your returns to the manor with the tea and snack of which I had prepared."

The boy replied, "Of course. Well then Aunt Frances, care to have a rematch?"

"Brats should know their place." Those were the last words spoken before the sound of horse hooves slamming against the earth resounded inside the forest. The sound of hooves grew faint and Holly was now confused. As far as she heard, the Butler had still not left his spot. Artemis had begun to relax and before she had any time to warn him, he took a step out from behind the tree. Artemis immediately froze, standing in front of him was a tall young man with long black hair that lay gently above his red eyes. He was dressed as only a butler should and was smiling evilly at the young boy that had stepped out from behind the tree. Artemis' mind took his all this in quickly and evaluated the situation. He was in England, sometime in the 18th century by the sound of the people's voices, caught eavesdropping by the butler of what he guessed was the son of an English nobleman. His memory of how Butler treated intruders suddenly formed in his mind and he couldn't suppress his shudder.

"I would like to kindly ask that your accomplice step out from behind the tree as well." The Butler said politely. Holly did so nervously, standing next to Artemis looking guilty.

The Butler sighed to himself, "I really must talk to Finny, he is supposed to be taking care of security in the forest and yet…" He looked at Artemis and Holly, "Two rats managed to get inside."

Artemis felt a tinge of annoyance as he was called a rat. _How dare a mere butler call him, _Artemis Fowl, _a rat?_

Holly stood at attention, shaking in fear as she sensed how strong the man standing before her was. This man was stronger then Butler by far, he would probably be able to beat up ten trolls with ease.

The Butler took a step towards them and Holly bit her lip nervously, she took a quick glance at Artemis and was surprised to see a strong look of defiance in his eyes. "Do you have any idea who you are talking to?" Artemis brain did a quick check of the possibility of him playing this off, he thanked god that he was wearing a fairly clean suit. "I am Artemis Fowl the second." He knew that it anyone were to run a check on that name, nothing would come up, but he hoped if he could pull this off, he would be back in his room sipping tea before the check was even completed. "I decide to take a stroll from my country estate and end up being called a rat by a mere butler! This is an insult to the Fowl name!"

The Butler looks at him oddly, tilting his head with interest, "I apologise then. Please do not take my ignorant behaviour as a mirror to my master's, I merely supposed that you two had snuck in to try and hurt the young master. He has many enemies in today society."

Holly's mouth was slightly agape with shock as she couldn't believe that the Butler had actually believed Artemis but she was also surprised to see how well Artemis played off the snooty rich brat role. "You better be sorry, my father would be outraged to hear about how you treated me!"

The Butler bowed his head, "I deeply apologise. As repayment, would you like to join me to the manor; it is only a few minutes away from here, I would be happy to serve you tea and snacks if it would satisfy you."

Holly relaxed a bit, but sensed that there was something more to what the Butler was saying. Artemis on the other hand, was suspicious of everything. If the Butler was good enough to sense their presence from behind the tree, he certainly wouldn't believe his story so easily. _Butler wouldn't._

"Well then, I suppose we should be on our way, I am sorry that you have to go there on foot but since there are no horses."

"It's okay; I came out here to take a stroll anyways." Artemis says, faking a smile.

****

Artemis could hardly breathe by the time they reached the manor. Although he had started to make an effort to improve his physical capability, he still wasn't up for the thirty minute walk back to the manor. He was slightly irritated by the fact that neither Holly nor the Butler – whose name he learned was Sebastian – were even the slightest out of breath.

"It is only a little farther until we reach the house." Sebastian reassured them, curious as to how similar the mystery boy was to Ciel.

They soon reached the manor and Artemis couldn't help but admit to himself that it was as good as or perhaps better than his own. It was a tall building, 3 stories high, with many chimneys and had two curved staircases that lead up to the main door. They walked passed the main door towards the side entrance. "It is required that mere staff are not to enter through the main door, though the son of a noble like you would know that already."

Artemis simply nodded, though he did understand why the staff entered through the side. "Well if you would like to just walk through here and take a seat. I will return with tea and snacks."

Artemis and Holly sat at the wooden table silently as they watched the Butler leave through the doorway. _We are probably in the staff room right now, _Artemis thought to himself as he looked at the poorly furnished room. _We should escape now; the Butler is obviously suspicious of us. If he took my story seriously, we wouldn't be sitting in the staff room. And I must get back to mother, she will die without Jayjay. _His instinct told him to leave but his curiosity was stronger. _My initial estimate was probably wrong. The boy isn't the son of a noble, by the way the Butler talked about him, he is probably a noble himself. A boy my age is an English noble who is good enough to be able to keep control over this estate, he would be a worth rival. And there is no definite way I will get back to mother immediately if I leave here._

"Holly, we shouldn't move just yet. Let us wait, once the 'Young Master' is finished with his guests, he will surely come down here to speak with us. Hopefully, mother can wait." As he made his decision his gut filled with regret and guilt for putting his beloved mother second, but there was nothing he could do. He had made his decision, and the stubbornness that runs through his veins told him that he couldn't turn back on his choice.

****

**A/N: Well that was the first chapter! I am definitely not the only one that saw the similarity between Artemis and Ciel and when i was re-reading kuroshitsuji, this idea cropped in my mind. I know that Artemis is OOC because he is putting his mum second but I thought that since he is still a super logical being, he would realize that he may be stuck in the past for a while – maybe even forever – so he would just do something he enjoyed. **

**If you liked it please click the blue button and review, you would make my teapot very happy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

****

"Goodbye Ciel!" Elizabeth's playful voice shouted as the main door shut behind her. Ciel sighed, "Ah, I hope she gets a little less energetic when she gets older." He stretched, turning around to face his butler, "Why are you smiling Sebastian?"

"Oh nothing really, but it seems as though two very interesting characters have appeared before us." Sebastian said as he knelt down to fix the bow tied around his master's neck.

"What are you talking about Sebastian?" Ciel asked, growing annoyed at how vague the butler's answer was.

"I mean to say that there appears to be a _very _interesting creature awaiting your arrival in the staffroom." Sebastian said. He had sensed the magic that came from Holly the minute he set eyes on her. The boy was also odd in a way he could not explain and the resemblance he had with the young master not only mentally but physically could not be ignored either.

"If you are lying, you will be punished." Ciel said harshly, only slightly interested about what Sebastian was talking about. A certain envelope with the royal marking on it had been gathering most of his attention at the moment.

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian said, still kneeling with his right hand above his heart.

****

Artemis and Holly sat quietly at the table awaiting the arrival of the Butler Sebastian's master. When the tapping of two pairs of feet against the cold, tiled floor could be heard through the wooden door, they both stared at the knob as it began to turn. The door swung open and Sebastian stood beside a boy whom in Holly's opinion looked eerily like Artemis. The minute Holly laid eyes on Ciel, she felt a chill run down her spine. He was about the same age Artemis was during the Fowl Manor siege but his eyes told differently. They were cold and showed no signs of human empathy and the smile plastered onto his face was evil and fake. The boy knew what a smile looked like but his act could not beat Holly's fairy senses. By the looks of it, this boy had not truly smiles in quite a while. Holly realized this in only a manner of minutes and shifted her gaze upon Artemis, only now truly realizing how much the boy had changed during their adventures. His eyes were still calculating and his mind was mostly logical, but in the very back corner of his brain, he had trust. Trust that his friends would come save him if ever need be, trust that his parents love him, and trust that he himself was a human being a not a robot in a shell. Holly knew that the boy that stood before her with blue tinged hair did not share that trust, for all that the boy knew, he was alone.

Artemis sat there at the staffroom table with his arms folded across his chest awaiting the arrival of the 'young master.' When the boy stood before him, Artemis let out one of his evil grins. When it happened he felt a bit surprised, the grin felt right on his face. Like he had found an old hat that he loved but had lost and was now caught up in a loving reunion. His evil grins had been growing few due to the lack of schemes and the Fowl family going legal. (Or at least that was what his father and mother believed. Artemis still took part in a number of illegal operations but a lot less then a few years ago.) When Ciel stood in front of him leaning casually on a cane and a smug looking grin on his face, he immediately knew that the boy knew that they were not from here.

The boy began to talk, "Hello, I would like to apologize for what my butler told me was his barbaric reaction to your _kindly _stroll." The boy's words spoke of apology, the only thing Artemis and Holly could hear was punishment.

Artemis stepped into his spoiled brat role, quickly removing his irish accent and replacing it with a flawless English one, "Indeed! Your Butler over here called me and my _beloved _a couple of rats!"

Everyone in the room quirked an eyebrow at Artemis' use of the word beloved and Holly shot him a quick glance that meant 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about?'

Ciel smiled, "Beloved is it? I'm sorry; I had no intention of making you look like a fool when you two were having an outing. Please accept my offering of tea and biscuits before you go, you likely skipped out on teatime."

Artemis cleared his throat, thinking about the consequences of accepting their offer would lead to. _Mother is dying and Jayjay is out in the forest somewhere, it would not be wise to stay. _The part of Artemis mind that wanted him to stay rebutted, _We still have no sure way on getting back to the present. It would be much safer to stay here and enjoy a friendly tea. _Artemis seriously doubted the safety aspect of this tea but couldn't argue with the fact that they still had no way of going back home. He sided with the curious part of his mind.

****

Holly, Artemis and Ciel were sitting at a circular table with a pristine white table cloth set upon it. On the table were various biscuits, cookies and cakes that all looked delicious. In front of each of them was a baby blue china teacup with intricate floral designs. The butler Sebastian stood beside his master.

The four of them were silent as they ate a couple of desserts and drank their tea but as Ciel finished his and lay in on the plate; he began to talk, "So Mr. Fowl, you told my butler that you have a summer estate here… but there are none under your name."

Artemis let out a mental groan; _Of course he knows about the estates around him, how could I have been so stupid? _A fake smile appeared on his face, "The estate is a bit east of here, nearer to the city than to here."

"Oh, I see. Then you walked all the way from your estate all the way here?"

Artemis' smile widened, "No of course not. As your Butler could tell, I am not in the greatest physical shape." Sebastian nodded slightly as his master turned to him. "No, my aunt Maybelle had dropped me off after I had asked her to."

Ciel knew that the boy's words were utter rubbish, and he knew that the boy knew that he knew **(OMG I ACTUALLY DID THAT!) **Artemis tilted his head, smiling politely. _He obviously knows, the question is; who's going to break their role first. _

Ciel let out a sigh, "You're smart aren't you?"

Artemis smiled, _I win! _"I like to think so."

"Good," He leans forward and lets out a menacing smile that might've even caused a shiver to ease down Butler's spine. "Then I hope you understand when I ask you, who are you really?"

Artemis smirks and straightens his back into the chair going into business mode, "My name is Artemis Fowl the Second, head of a criminal empire since I was eleven. I have made encounters with things that you would probably never believe existed and save the world on numerous occasions." Artemis crosses his arms and smiles, he knew it wasn't smart to bring up the fairies though not even directly but he felt a chill from the glare Holly was giving him. _This boy is now my rival, I am certain, I intend on beating him at _everything _before I go back to my home in the present. _Then a small nervous thought passed through his mind, _If I ever go home._

Ciel wondered what the boy had meant by 'thing he would probably not believe existed.' What did the boy know? His butler was a demon, can't get anymore non-existent than that. "What things do I probably not believe exist?" Ciel asked impatiently, he wanted to get this over with so that he can do what the queen wants, _though I have a feeling that I am not going to be able to get rid of this boy so soon._

Artemis wanted to make a cocky grin and reply 'fairies' straight away, but the dagger shooting out of Holly's eyes made him falter. "Oh nothing of any importance to you."

"You are guests in my home, I insist that you tell me, or else." Ciel let the words hang in the air awaiting the boy, Artemis' reply.

Artemis knew what the or else had meant, he used it countless times. _But that was when Butler was with me, though Holly is amazing, I feel that Sebastian is of something else. _Even Artemis, the once strictly logical being, let his gut take power when he saw the Butler Sebastian after he stepped out from behind the tree, it was a strange fear he had not felt before. It was as if he was a master playing with puppets, not caring whether or not they break.

Artemis began to speak but was interrupted by Holly whispering a few words behind him, "Demon…" It was a mere whisper; Artemis had only heard it because she was sitting right beside him, then a thought struck him. The Butler had been able to hear them whispering from behind a tree, yards away, it may be possible he heard this. _And if he did… what would his reaction be?_

The Butler let an obvious smile form on his face. Artemis saw it, pure evil, a kind that would make the most hardened mobsters squeel in fear, for a moment he sat there paralyzed. Sebastian dropped his smile as he looked at his pocket watch, "Young Master, it is time for your lessons with Miss Hannah." When the smile had vanished, it was replaced with worry that seemed almost comical after the evil that was once on his face. Artemis tried to make himself believe that he had just imagined it but he knew he didn't. The man in front of him was a demon.

Ciel pushed away from the table and stood up, grabbing the cane that was leaning against the table. His face remain still and cold as he spoke, "I would like to invite you to stay at my manor for a few days. It was my fault that you had been taken off the trail and as I am certain you have gotten yourselves lost. I think you should sleep here until your _aunt _picks you up."

Artemis and Ciel looked each other in the eyes seeing a perfect rival in front of them and they shared an obnoxious smirk. Then, Ciel turned around and began walking out of the staffroom with his head held high and as his Butler began to follow him, he said, "Sebastian, buy our guests some clothes fitting of our _era._"

Sebastian smiled, once again recognizing how much Ciel's mind had been able to take on the situation with so little information. "Yes, my lord."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

****

Artemis shifted awkwardly in his new attire. He wore a he was wearing a navy blue suit with uncomfortably short shorts. He had knee high socks and black boots on and despite what he thought, he looked handsome. _This suit is extremely frilly. Why is it so frilly? _He screamed in his mind, _but Holly looks quite nice in frills. DAMN PUBERTY!_

Holly was looking out the window beside him wearing a pink dress with a low neckline and it hugged her slim figure. The dress was layered and covered her feet which were secured into the LEP suits shoes since she had refused to take them off. Her hands were folded neatly on her lap and her face was still but her eyes were filled with worry.

"You should really be honoured to be able to join me on my investigation." Ciel smiled, leaning his head on his open palm. "It is quite interesting."

This perked Artemis' interest but he did his best to look indifferent. After Ciel had left them in the staffroom for his lessons, the butler had come back with clothing for both of them and only a few hours later they had found themselves sitting in a horse-drawn carriage in silence. Artemis spoke, "If you don't mind me asking… what investigation?"

Ciel smiled, "You say you are the head of a criminal empire but if you have not even heard of me, which must mean you are not exactly of this age… Are you?"

The side of Artemis mouth twitched upwards though he wasn't sure it was because he was irritated or amused. _This boy is like me of only a few years ago. Calm, calculating and suspicious of everyone around him. What an interesting opponent. _Artemis tilted his head back and smiled, "No, not of this age but I am of this world. So," He leaned forward to try and add dramatic effect which was fairly hard due to the uncomfortable clothing, "who are you?"

Ciel let out a laugh that Artemis found oddly girly, "You just let it slip." Artemis closed his eyes and let out a sigh when he realized what that meant. He had forgotten to place on an English accent. "So you are Irish. Not really important but it is fascinating. You had quite the impressive English accent, very posh, fitting of the role you claimed." Ciel swatted the though away with a flick of his wrist, "Anyways, you gave yourself quite the introduction. It's my turn. I am Ciel Phantomhive, my parents were killed in a fire when I was a child and I was the lone survivor. I am the head of the Funtom toy making company which has extended its reaches into the food market where it's curry received the Royal Warrant from the Queen herself. But that is merely my legal business; I am the person who takes care of all the things the queen is concerned with. The queen's orders are my first priority and also, I have encountered thing you would never believe." The final statement felt so cold that one could've imagined that a breeze had gone through the little carriage room.

Artemis furrowed his brows and lay his head rest on his closed fist. Holly was the only other person in the carriage and was the only person who noticed the eerie similarities between the two boys. The only difference was that Ciel was younger and had blue-ish hair, but that was all. Even their posture was similar!

_This boy has quite the interesting résumé but what does he mean by things I would never believe. I've met fairies, trolls and centaurs. What haven't I met?_

The carriage jolted to a halt and Artemis looked out the window. They were in a small discreet village. They were in front of a grey building with the union flag set up close beside the large oak door at the front of the building was a slab of stone with neatly chiselled letters that read, 'CROW ESTATE.' Sebastian opened the carriage door and helped Ciel out then continued to do the same for Holly and Artemis.

Ciel stretched and yawned while Artemis rotated his shoulders, Holly simply stood there already used to being in cramped shuttles and ships for extended periods of time. Artemis surveyed his surroundings a little better. There were other carriages already there and seemed to be five men huddled in a circle, staring at something Artemis couldn't see. One of the men turned around to look at the new arrivals, he was old and had rimless glasses and grey hair with a stern look on his face. "Master Phantomhive, your assistance is not necessary here. We have it under control." The smile he had on his face was so fake, even Artemis who was never very good at distinguishing the difference, was able to tell.

"Lord Randall, it is a pleasure to see you too but if you had this under control, the queen wouldn't have found it necessary for me to look into it. Would she?" Lord Randall looked disgusted but looked down in defeat. "So then, may I see the body?"

"Yes, but who are your to friends? We are not accepting visitors." Lord Randall answered, annoyed.

"Oh please old man, do you think I would let complete strangers in on an investigation in which the name of the queen is on the line?" Artemis answered the question in his head, y_es._

"Don't act like that is something that you wouldn't do. I know full well that you are capable of it."

"Capable, I am, but I am not doing it. Show me the body."

****

Artemis Fowl, as much as he was a genius and as many fairies he had seen, was not prepared for what was before him. A body, it's figure so disgustingly torn apart that he couldn't tell the gender, was mostly centered at his feet but other pieces were strewn about the land. The only part of it that was left on the body was that head but it was covered in scratches and blood.

"John Adam Crow junior, the song of Lord Crow who is currently out in the town and we are unable of contacting him." Randall said as he stared at the body. Ciel was unfazed by the body but covered his nose with a handkerchief due to it's horrible smell. Sebastian looked at Artemis and Holly. Holly had seen wars and battlewounds, her friends and her commanders were killed before her eyes but tose experiences were nothing compared to the horror she felt as she stared at the mauled body. It's arm was limp and grey beside her foot and she wanted to kick it away but knew she shouldn't. Her mind switched into soldier form, what she was looking at was a body that was torn apart and now all she wanted to do was find that person or thing that did it and put him to justice. Artemis on the other hand had a look of cold disgust on his face. _How can something do this? Even trolls don't make this much of a mess._ But he was standing still, and he felt a shadow begin to reform over his heart.

A young man wearing black who was kneeling beside the body began to speak, "Young master Crow was only 22 and it seems that there can be various causes for death, but I can assure you. He was alive when he was torn apart." The sentence hung in the air and even Ciel let out a little shiver as they all realized how indescribably painful it must have been.

"Do you have any suspects." Ciel said as he looked at the body.

"None so far but the human must have had monstrous strength to be able to do this… if it is a human." Ciel and Artemis' eyebrow tweaked upwards simultaneously and Ciel shared a glance with Sebastian and Artemis the same with Holly.

****

"Is there any fairy that would be able to do this?" Artemis asked in a hurried whisper to Holly was they were being led into the dining room by a young maid girl.

"Maybe a troll, but there are no reports of any trolls in this area." Holly said.

Artemis stopped and pulled her into a darkened corner of the room, "Holly, it seems you've forgotten, you won't be receiving any reports because this is 300 years ago."

Holly realized her mistake, "You're right, but when I saw the body… I just felt that a troll hadn't done that."

Artemis sighed and began to walk back with the group. "Yes,but Holly I don't want to ask you to do anything dangerous but I know that soldier inside you is itching to find out what did this. I'll find an excuse; you go check out the scene a little _closer_." Holly knew that he meant that she should shimmer so as not to be caught. She nodded and began to make her way to the exit, happy to find that her LEP shoes were far more comfortable than the shoes that the Butler had offered her.

"Could this be the work of a demon?" Ciel asked Sebastian, being careful to whisper as to not arouse any suspicion from his new companions.

"Possibly, but it doesn't have any traces of demon nor god." Sebastian asked straight forwardly. "It appears out _friends _are brainstorming ideas on their end as well."

"Interesting. Well, I order you investigate and find out what caused this."

"Yes, my lord."

Artemis passed Sebastian and was wondering why the butler had begun to head towards the exit of the building. "Where is your butler going off to?" Artemis asked, trying to sound harmless.

"I should ask the same about your friend." Ciel replied. They both knew what was going on and decided to stop talking about it and spent the last minutes of the walk to the dining room in silence.

****

**A/N: I AM SUCH A HYPOCRITE! I hate it when people don't update, yet here I was doing the eact same thing. Nvm, I started watching doctor who though. 9****th**** doctor is my first and favourite! Any doctor who fans reading this?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

****

As Holly stepped out of the house and onto the cobbled street a cool breeze made her shiver and grasp her arms. She saw a couple of men standing beside the body and she heard footsteps behind her, she remembered Artemis' warning and suddenly disappeared. She tip-toed towards the body, careful not to make any noise, the clicking of leather shoes was close behind her, she turned around. It was the butler, Sebastian. _What is he doing here? _She asked herself, then she answered, _he is doing the exact same thing as you, investigating the body._

"Mister, you're not allowed to in this area." A man in his mid twenties with reddish-brown hair and freckles said as he stepped in front of Sebastian. Sebastian let out one of his evil smiles, "I'm sorry but it seems that my master had dropped something when he was examining the body and asked me to retrieve it." He began to step forward but was blocked again by the young man, "I'm really sorry sir. If you could just tell me what it is your master dropped, I could check for you but I cannot risk you contaminating the scene."

Sebastian tilted his head; a look of curiosity passed his face but quickly faded into a frown. "Why is it that you do not wish for me to see the body?"

"Because you might…"

"Contaminate it? I have gloves, you may watch me. I just wish to retrieve something my master had dropped. Unless, of course, you have other reasons as to why I shouldn't see the body."

"N-no sir, it's just…" The man looked frightened now, there was something about the Butler that scared him more than any dismembered body he had ever seen, and he had seen many. Sebastian took out his pocket watch and feigned surprise, "Oh, well look at the time. I believe they are serving dinner now. Why don't you and your companion go inside for a bit of soup? It's quite _cold _out here."

The two men were inside in only a matter of minutes and Holly felt something odd radiating from the butler. She stayed close behind him but far enough that if he were to attack she would have enough space to defend herself. She watched as he knelt beside the torso of the body and raised an eyebrow when he sniffed it. "Odd… Anyways, you know that it is a waste of your magic to shimmer whilst you are in my presence."

This sentence caught Holly off guard but she remained invisible. The butler stood up and dusted himself off, "As you wish, you may examine the body, I doubt those to men will be back for another 20 minutes." He began to walk in her direction and stopped right beside her, Holly held her breath. "I've always wondered what an imp's soul tasted of." She knew he saw her because he pushed back the brown hair the covered her ears and gave it a nip. "I can't help but believe it will taste… pure."

****

Ciel and Artemis sat across each other at the end of the table, isolated from the policemen discussing the murder with their measly human beliefs. "Well, I wonder where your female companion has wandered off too." Ciel said vaguely as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"It is a mystery, but I suppose your Butler is still off helping in the kitchens. Though I must make a criticism, the steak was far too dry and the tea was horribly bitter." Artemis replied with a smirk.

Then the dining rooms doors opened and Sebastian strode into the room, closely followed by Holly who looked extremely shaken up. Holly took the empty seat beside Artemis and Sebastian stood beside Ciel. Ciel looked up at the butler with a bored look on his face, "Have you found anything?"

"It will all be answered in due time."

Artemis put his elbow on the table and dropped his head on his closed fist and whispered discreetly as he could to Holly. "Anything?"

Holly looked distant as she sipped her wine and when a waiter offered her a steak, her face contorted in disgust and she looked away. "Artemis… he isn't human."

Artemis raised an eyebrow and was about to speak when the dining rooms door banged open again matched with the sinister sound of thunder.

A fat man with curly black hair and a goatee stood in front of the guests almost completely soaked with rain, his eyes were red and it seemed as if he was crying. She looked at the people at the table and caught sight of Lord Randall, "MY SON! MY SON'S BODY! WHY IS IT STILL OUTSIDE, WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING IT BACK TO THE MORGUE WHERE IT WOULDN'T BE DROWNED WITH RAIN!"

Lord Randall was appalled by the man's behaviour and irritated as he felt his wet fists dampen his suit. "Lord Crow…" As his mind understood what the fat man had said his face shifted into confusion. "What are you talking about? We sent the body to the morgue an hour ago."

The fat man's face contorted with rage, "DON'T LIE TO ME! WHEN I ARRIVED, THAT HORRIBLE BODY WAS LYING ON THE GROUND LIKE TRASH BEING FLOODED WITH WATER!"

Randall remained confused but his face turned stern. "I would like to go and investigate so please kindly take your hands off me." Lord Crow's face softened and he muttered an apology as he saw the water marks left on Randall's suit. "Well then men, let us take –" He didn't complete the sentence before he heard the dining rooms door closed and saw the empty space that had once contained Artemis, Ciel, Holly and Sebastian.

****

Artemis, Ciel, Holly, and Sebastian reached the exit when Holly and Sebastian turned to look to their friend and master.

"Artemis it may be dangerous out there, let me go first."

"Young master, it is pouring outside and your health is my first priority."

To this, the two boys' faces contorted into uncannily similar irritation. "Holly, if you believe that I would miss out on the discovery of a mysterious body that could be the key to this whole crime then you were very absent minded during out 7 years together."

"It seems as if you have forgotten who the master is Sebastian." That was all Ciel needed to say before Sebastian nodded. The four of them stepped outside in the pouring rain and it was at that moment they heard the blood curdling howl of a wolf.

Ciel and Artemis both grinned evilly, "Thing have just gotten a bit more interesting."

****

**A/N: Sorry the chapter is sooooo short and all my fails in spelling and grammar, I kind of right these in frantic bouts at about midnight. DAVID TENNANT IS AMAZING! Anyways, hope you like it, rate and review. **

**BTW, I think I might end it soon because I kind of lost inspiration and I am itching to do an Artemis Fowl / Doctor Who crossover… or maybe a Kuroshitsuji / Doctor Who… meh. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

****

The howl of the wolf echoed throughout the dark sky lit up only by the full moon. Ciel and Artemis smirked, "Things have gotten a bit more interesting."

"What are you talking about Artemis?" Holly asked, still a bit spooked by the howl. "Oh come on Holly!" Artemis exclaimed with uncommon excitement. "A mauled body that seems to be torn apart by something massive, two bodies apparently! The howl of a wolf on the night of a full moon! You exist Holly, so why can't they!"

Holly sighed, "Artemis, you can't possibly be thinking what I think you're thinking."

"Yes I am Holly and I'm certain when you examined the body you found an interesting fur… unless…" Artemis turned to the butler who was taking something out of his pocket. "You got there first." He finished with a smile.

Sebastian pulled his hand out of his pocket and showed them a little brown paper envelope, he was careful not to let it get wet as he pulled the evidence out of it. A silvery tuft of hair was pulled out. Artemis and Ciel smiled, "Perfect."

"This hair comes from something obviously not human nor animal."

"Holly?"

"I don't know… it looks familiar but… lycans are only myths, even to the People… they were made so that we don't wander around the human realm…"

Ciel looked at Holly interested, "The People?"

Sebastian smiled, "Imps more commonly known as fairies."

Ciel snorted, "Fairies, really Sebastian? I understand Demons and Gods but–"

Holly interrupted, "That's it… you're a demon!"

Artemis furrowed his brow, "Demon, like N01? He doesn't look like the rest of them…"

Holly shook her head, "No nothing like that. It is said that originally the People are vast; sprites, pixies, trolls, etc. But when those people were being created, there is a myth that there were more. Demons and Gods, but they had left the fairy world immediately as they were created and we all thought it was a rumour. But there were still things that went on that even the People could not explain; deaths that shouldn't have happened, soul disappearing from bodies, and officers vanishing into thin air. Stories about demons and gods were told to us like humans but… to think they exist."

"Blah, blah, blah." Ciel yawned, "Sebastian, take me to my room."

"Yes my lord."

As Ciel and Sebastian walked towards the house leaving Holly and Artemis in the rain, Holly called out, "Wait! We haven't even examined the body!"

A snort of laughter could be heard from Ciel but he didn't answer. Artemis smirked and said a little more loudly than necessary, "Don't worry Holly, it's because a small weakling like that needs his sleep or else he'll never grow." He turned and shouted at Ciel, "Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!"

Ciel stopped in his tracks and looked at Sebastian who had a small smile on his face, "What are you laughing at." Sebastian's face fell, "Nothing My lord."

"I am no longer sleepy, shall we examine the body."

"Yes my lord."

****

"I knew you'd come back." Artemis grinned victoriously as Ciel approached them. "To think that the Queen's watchdog could be so easily manipulated, don't as where I learned your nickname; the police were talking about you."

Ciel looked irritated but remained silent. "So the boy has been mauled in a similar fashion as John Crow but the body isn't his."

Holly's eyes were fixed on the body, "Her's… it's a girl."

"How can you tell?" Artemis asked.

"I just can."

Artemis knelt beside the body, "Where is your Butler?"

"Getting me an umbrella."

Artemis looked down at the body but muttered, "Spoilt brat."

The body he was looking at was only the head and torso and an odd smell was radiating from it, "Cherries."

Artemis looked up to see the butler, "You are smelling cherries, it was the same sent on the other body as well."

"Okay, so far the things the two bodies have in common is that they were possibly mauled by a lycan and they smell of cherries." Artemis stood up, "Where is the rest of the body."

It was hard to find the other parts with the rain and lack of light, "Really, I would kill for a flashlight!" Artemis groaned to Holly as they searched for a limb. "No you wouldn't Artemis."

"AHAH!" He exclaimed as he caught sight of a grey hand. _Why am I so happy to have found a limb?_

At around the same time Ciel called out, "I have found the left arm and hand."

_That means that I have found the right._

Artemis took of the suit's coat and picked the arm up with it, not bothering to hide his distaste. _At least the suit has gotten a little less frilly._

The two groups met up at the torso at the body. Artemis dropped the hand covered with the coat onto the ground; Ciel looked annoyed, "That suit jacket costs about 100 pounds."

"I'll be sure to pay you back in about 300 years time."

The other arm was laid gently on the ground by Sebastian, he began to examine it. Artemis looked at the police carriage, "Do you think that they would have any gloves in there?"

He began to walk towards it, separating himself from the group, unnoticed. As strolled to the carriage, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as a low growl came from behind him. _Well at least I was right._

****

**A/N: Super short chapter and I feel like it got kind of rushed but with all lack of inspiration, I feel that this was pretty good. Anyways, this'll probably have like… 3-4 more chapters before it's finished… **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Kuroshitsuji, all the teapots and spoons in the world could never change that fact.**

**Summary: AU. Imagine if Artemis and Holly never made it back to their own time after N01 sent them back but instead they get sent off to 18****th**** century England in which they come across a certain awful nobleman and his butler.**

Holly took a closer look at the body. "She was probably no older than 20…" She murmured sadly. "Indeed and it's body shows that it had actually fought back, look." Sebastian lifted the grey hand and looked at the fingertips. "The same kind of hair found on the other body… interesting."

Ciel yawned; he wasn't used to staying up so late. "What is it Sebastian, I am tired of you being so vague."

"Very well, the hairs on this have traces of magic –" He was interrupted by a panicked Holly asking, "Have you seen Artemis?"

Ciel replied dully, "He went to the police carriage to look for gloves."

"That's what I thought but… where is the police carriage?" Holly pointed to the area where the police carriage once was. Suddenly, the air was filled with a cry from a very familiar voice, "HELP!" It was followed by the growl of a wolf.

Holly burst into full sprint towards the area where her sensitive ears told her the cry had come from.

"My lord, I believe it will be better for you to stay here." Sebastian said, his words spoke of worry but his face seemed to not care at all.

"How do you think I will reply to that?" Ciel replied thinking to himself, _If I don't go he would probably laugh and call me a wimp… I am Ciel Phantomhive, contracted with a demon to steal my soul once I achieve revenge. I will not be called a wimp by that brat._

Ciel allowed himself to be picked up by Sebastian under the strict orders that once they are able to see Holly and/or Artemis, he is to put him down. This earned him a little snigger from the butler but was wiped off from the howl of a wolf.

"ARTEMIS! ARTEMIS! SHOUT IF YOU CAN HERE ME!" Holly shouted out to the forest around her, it was met by silence. She wanted to collapse, just crumple into a ball of tears. Artemis was her friend, a person she knew would not stop until he saved her. Yet here she was, ready to bawl her eyes out because he may or may not have been kidnapped by a wolf. She so wish that this was all an evil prank he pulled because even if she would've felt betray, at least he wouldn't be dead. _Don't think like that Holly. He is defiantly alive, this is the boy that defeated Opal Koboi, the number 1 most wanted fairy, twice, he'll be able to get out or stall long enough for me to find him…_

The sound of footsteps made her turn around. "You two are quite slow runners." She pointed out. Sebastian hadn't even broken into a sweat but Ciel was panting for breath, despite the fact that he had only been running for about 3 minutes. In spite of the situation, Holly couldn't help but find a smile when she saw how similar Ciel an Artemis was yet again. It faded when she heard a scream, it defiantly came from Artemis but it was different from the rest. This was a pleading cry from something that was moment away from death, "PLEASE! HELP ME!"

Holly dashed towards where she thought the voice had come from but stopped when she heard Ciel sigh. "What are you doing? Come, it came from this way!"

"Are you sure, we had been running after you yet we still have not found him."

She stuttered when she realized how true his words were, "I-It's all we have."

Ciel turned to Sebastian and undid his eye patch. "What are you doing? Artemis is about to die and you're taking off your eye patch!" Holly screamed, she knew that she should keep calm and not let emotions cloud her judgment. She took a few breaths in and out, _Artemis wouldn't panic in this kind of situation and he's just a mud boy, you are Captain Holly Short! The first ever female LEPrecon officer! You are a soldier!_

This calmed her down, so she watched Ciel open his right eye and gasped when she saw the mark on it. It was similar to one's on the bodies of the people whose souls had vanished. It was the contract mark of a demon. Ciel's voice was cold and heartless as he spoke, "Sebastian, I order you to find Artemis Fowl the Second and bring him back alive."

Sebastian knelt and crossed a hand over his heart, "Yes, my Lord."

Sebastian began running at an incredible speed which Holly had trouble keeping up with. As she chased after him, she heard Ciel call out after her, "I hope you stop whining once you find him."

"You now it would be a really bad idea to hurt me." Artemis said, leaning against the stone wall of the cave cowering from the massive beast that stood before him. If he hadn't been in the situation he was in, he might have actually enjoyed the image. The beast was beautiful. It was tall, over 8 feet, with a silky silver mane that seemed to glow in the darkness. It's eyes were a bright yellow and it moved like a proud animal, knowing it was the strongest and at the top of the food chain. _It's pointless to talk to it. It may be beautiful but it is still a beast. _But then it spoke, with a grainy metallic voice. It sounded a lot like a voice coming from an old radio, "Why ever would it be a bad idea." The voice was altered but he could recognize that voice anywhere. "Go on Mud Boy, speak. You really are quite good at it!"

Artemis remained silent, eyeing the creature. It was motionless, it's eyes had become dull and faded, the proud creature that had stood before him only moments ago was gone. It had been replaced by a soulless thing that could never have a mind of it's own. "Do you like it? It's a little beastie I made when I was bored and being the genius that I am, I succeeded. Unlike the stories a half man, half wolf hybrid would be hardly any good. There would be too much human, too much weakness. So I used three quarters wolf and 1 quarter troll, making it an easily controlled beast."

Artemis sneered, "So you just went on ahead and made a whole new species… how did it get here."

Opal laughed, "OH COME ON MUDBOY! YOU SERIOUSLY HAVEN'T PIECED IT TOGETHER YET?" Her voice was shrill and annoying. Then it clicked. Opal laughed, "You see, that's right mud boy, I thought you were different but you're just as thick as the rest of the humans. But it doesn't matter that much considering I am going to kill you now and there is nothing on this earth that could stop me." The wolves eyes cleared and it began pacing around him, growling here and there. Opal's voice seemed to be on replay, "I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you!" Artemis was in a moment that was usually only seen in nightmares and movies, but it was real. The great Artemis Fowl the second is going to die by being torn apart by a wolf. The odd thing was that it wasn't the being torn apart while still being alive thing that bothered him – at least not that much- it was the fact that his mother and father would never see him. His mother would wither and die leaving his father alone to take care of the twins. It was that moment that Artemis realized his mortality, knowing what death feels like and his fully functioning mind didn't care; the only thing it thought about was how wrong people were. When you die, you do not see your life flashes before your eyes and you don't see all of the great things you've done, your friends and family. Because Artemis didn't see that, he didn't see his past, instead; he saw his future. All the things that could be but never would if he died. It made him want to live, it made him yearn for his home, it made him want to be back to normal. It was then that Holly and Sebastian entered the cave.

Holly was running out of breath, which was very hard to do considering how much training she goes through to keep in shape but running for 30 minutes at full speed would tire anyone out. _Except for the butler. _She thought when she saw that he was moving as nimbly as he did when they started. They were a stone ridge with a cave shrouded in darkness. "We have arrived." Sebastian said matter-of-factly.

They were at the base of the ridge with the cave still 20 meters high, Holly looked up and realized that she would never get up there in time. Suddenly, the butler laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled, "It is my master's order for me to save that boy, you do not need to accompany me."

Holly looked at him, incredulous. "I need to be there to save him! I believe that you can save him but…" She stuttered, trying to find the correct words. "That boy's Butler is not here, leaving him under my care. If I were to leave my responsibilities to someone else, I would not be Holly Short."

A thin, evil grin spread across Sebastian's face. "Then how about I give you a lift," He leaned down and picked her up bridal-style, "For a price."

He didn't give her enough time to answer before he jumped, higher than any human should be able to. _But he is not human, _Holly kept reminding herself. _If it was for Artemis, I would do anything because he would do the same for me. _She continued aloud, "So demon, name your price."

The butler was silent and only looked straight upwards as he ran the completely vertical surface and they soon reached the entrance to the cave. He dropped Holly on her feet and looked at her, his eyes glowing red, "Why don't we talk about business later."

Artemis heart soared as he saw Holly and Sebastian enter the cave. He didn't want to die, he couldn't. His family and friends were waiting for him. His mind needed to solve problems, cure cancer, win the Nobel Prize. He needed to live and get back home so his mind processed the situation and he came up with a solution that would most likely solve his problem with the least likely chance of him getting killed. "Opal, do you really want to kill me now? If I die, I won't get to see the look of glorious victory on your face."

The wolves eyes got foggy once more, and a cackle escaped from its' lips, "Do you really think you could fool me mud boy? I get to see your look of failure from this wolf's eyes; I don't _need _to be there."

Artemis sighed and mustered all of his courage and looked into the wolf's eyes, "Okay then, you coward."

The cackling coming from the wolf's mouth stopped and it looked at Artemis, "Coward? I am Opal Koboi, the greatest mind that ever was and ever will be! I am not a coward!"

"Yet you are too scared to stand by the creature you created as it takes my life." Artemis pointed out, sparing a quick peak at Holly and Sebastian who were trying to make their way behind the wolf. _Please don't let Holly get hurt. _Artemis pleaded in his head.

Opal was quiet and the only thing that could be heard was the heavy breathing of Artemis, the panting of the wolf, and the crackle of the radio. "Boy, foolish boy. Don't think for a single second that I have fallen for your trap if it even exists. I simply changed my mind on the thought of not wanting to be there in person when you die and watch and laugh as the light fades from your eyes. I, Opal Koboi, am the bringer of death, I shall kill the human I loathe so much and finally take my spot as the _greatest _villain ever." There was a mechanic creak and smoke began to leak from it. Artemis started coughing and Sebastian and Holly covered their mouths. A platform that was designed to look like a piece of stone from the ceiling began to lower itself. When it hit the ground steadily Opal was smiling with her arms crossed on top of her chess and a smug look on her face. "Why do you look so nervous mud boy? Did you think I wouldn't come?"

Artemis' mouth twitched upwards with irritation, he wasn't nervous because of Opal, he was nervous because of where she was standing. The platform had landed extremely close to the spot where Sebastian and Holly were hiding and they had no way to get to the wolf without being seen by Opal. "No, I was just _admiring _your entrance."

Opal laughed, "It was quite nice wasn't it? No matter. I have arrived, kill him." She ordered the wolf.

Artemis ducked down as the wolf lunged at him and Holly forgot she was supposed to be hiding and screamed out, "NO!"

The wolf froze and Opal swung around to see Holly, only Holly. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Captain Holly Short, what a pleasure it is to meet you again." Opal said sarcastically. "Have you come to try and save your little _boyfriend._" Holly couldn't help herself and she blushed. "I think I've struck a nerve, this is fun." Opal's face suddenly turned angry and she creamed at the wolf, "KILL THEM BOTH!"

The wolf was happy to oblige and looked back at the spot where Artemis once was, he wasn't there anymore. "I find that it is quite rude to, what is it you humans say? Crash the party but it was my duty to take young Artemis back to my master. So I think I shall take care of this." Sebastian was standing at the mouth of the cave holding a fidgeting Artemis in his arms. Sebastian looked down at him, "I would like to ask you to stop moving." The look of annoyance on his face made Artemis halt.

Holly shouted from her hiding place behind a rock, "Sebastian, take Artemis to safety, I'll take care of this!" She moved her hand to the spot where she kept her neutrino and remembered that she didn't have it. She also realized that although she could take down Opal easily enough, a massive wolf would be within the realms of impossible, especially in a dress.

"Of course." Sebastian replied and exited the cave via jumping out into the open air. Artemis was surprised by the sudden force pushing down on his stomach and the only word he managed to get out was a long and startle yell of, "HOLLY!"

**A/N: I had actually had this semi-finished at around the time i had written up chapter 5 but school work is a bitch. Anyways, there will probably only be a chapter 7 then an epilogue :)**


End file.
